Almost two months later, I am here, in Los Angeles, on the ragged edge of this space. Settling into another new place, returning to an old role with fresh perspective. Eagerly looking ahead to see what’s going to happen next. I am here with a whole list of things that got done, and another of things that didn’t.
New places that I’ve seen and ones I haven’t. A rented room, a classroom I haven’t found yet, a neighborhood I’ve only barely begun to explore. Not to mention the stores, parks, gyms, studios, and friends homes I’m going to be frequenting in a manner of days, weeks, and months. Streets that are foreign to me will soon become familiar, and I can’t wait for that newness to be explored.
I am excited and nervous to finally head back to school. Finally something to do that will take more than an hour! Something to give my time structure! But as my excitement grows, my worries take over. I’ve been gone a long time. And not only that, but I am diving into what is said to be a challenging course load. I would know more of what it looks like if they would tell us anything about it! A schedule? A syllabus? I only just today got the proper send-mail-here address of where I’m going. 0 to 60 at 9 a.m. next Monday? Well, it is what I signed up for.
This morpheus, questionable thing I’ve signed up for? It’s a plan I know only in hypothetical. Only from second hand tellings of the verse.
Even as I beat myself up for things undone, I see the value of this time. I’ve spent this space in time learning ways that I amn’t quite able to work. Small should of’s and would of’s sitting lying in the sun as reminders of the can’s and will’s of the next time around. When will that be? Sooner? Or later?
The only thing I know is that the next time this space comes around I hope that I can take advantage of it as I have this time to set habits, and re-calibrate my thoughts and prayers for myself and my surroundings.