It’s Here!

Hey guys,

Like I mentioned in my last post, this week I’ll be transitioning into my new blog, which I’m very nervous/excited about. The first post goes up today and I would really appreciate you checking it out. I’ve been actively building this new space for about a month now (though the idea has been on my mind for over a year) and I’m excited to start showing it off.

Along with the blog I’m also in the process of moving all my old video content to a new YouTube channel and will be posting new videos there every Sunday. Over the course of this month I’ll be transitioning my social media and other online personas to match my new blog URL, www.juniebird.com.

This month is the soft launch and I plan on still posting a few things here for the rest of the month, but starting in October I’ll be posting only on Juniebird. My old posts will still be here, but by the end of the month I won’t be adding any new content to this site.

I hope you’ll join me this month over at juniebird.com!

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In Transistion

I’ve been away from this space for more time than I’d like, but for once I feel like I actually have a good reason. For the past few weeks I’ve been working on building up a new blog, and new space, with my own domain name and a logo and everything. It’s been quiet here because I’ve been working and building something new.

All this building and working is very exciting, as well as more than a little nerve-wracking. My new blog will be much of the same type of content in a sleeker package and with more unified social media outputs. I’m very excited for all the work I’ve put into it, but quite nervous for the response. Obviously, whenever you migrate to a new blog space you loose some followers, so I’m worried that the small amount of people I do have wont make this transition with me.

I love this blog. I love all the things it’s taught me about how to write and create online content. What’s here wont be going away. In fact, over time I hope to bring some of my favorite pieces over to my new online home. It’ll take time though.

Next week will be the soft launch of the new site, and I’ll make a more official announcement then, but guys, this is starting to be real and I’m excited about where it’s going.

Consumer/Creator

Lately I’ve been struggling to find a balance as both a consumer and a creator. This is a balance that I’ve been struggling with a lot, especially in recent years, but seems especially stark of a contrast since I’ve recently committed to making more.

I watch tons of TV, subscribe to nearly 100 YouTube channels, and go to the occasional movie; read novels, non-fiction, and comics; take part in events like VidCon and Comic Con, but don’t feel like I’m making nearly enough. I’ve been told at panels and events that creators need to be consumers too. If I’m going to make something I need to know what’s out there. While that’s true, I think for me I need to start focusing on the opposite.

Instead of watching, I need to write, shoot, and edit video to put up on YouTube. I need to be writing scripts that are never going to see the light of day in the hopes that one day I’ll come up with something I’m proud enough to share. I need to practice and do, not just in response to all the things I consume, but from my own thoughts and ideas outside of the mainstays of culture.

In a lot of ways I have no idea how to do this. I’ve spent so long trying to determine what I think of the world around me that to shift into my own thought process is an astounding transition. But absolutely necessary. I’m starting to journal more. I’m starting to write here. I’m starting with my YouTube channel. I’m not disillusioned to think this will be easy, but starting is half the battle.

So We Begin Again

As I’m beginning to come back to this space I look at the most recent posts and am stunned by how much my life has changed in the past few months. So before I start posting regularly again, I thought it would be good to do a bit of an update on where I’m at right now.

APRIL:
I found a job in the middle of April, leading to me not having the time to devote to blogging. I convinced some friends to go rock climbing with me on Saturdays, and spent some time adjusting to working full time. My job is far enough away that it required me to get a car, s

MAY:
In May I took a weekend off to go to Chicago and officially collect a diploma. It was nice to graduate, see old friends, and say goodbye to a city that had given me so many opportunities. Back in LA I had a small party to celebrate and spent lots of time with friends.

JUNE:
Last month was filled with spending time with friends, seeing movies (The Fault in Our Stars), and continuing to get used to being a real adult. I’m still not sure about all this, but I suspect that no one is. I went on church retreat mid-month that got me excited about the future — whatever that may be — and left me with only two days to get ready for VidCon. VidCon was a fantastic experience that gave me a lot to think about.

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I could (and probably will) write a whole post about VidCon, but for now all I’ll say is that I’ve decided to spend some time developing my own online space as a result of it. Going forward I want to focus here as well as over on YouTube at my channel. If you’re interested go ahead and check it out.

Ch-Ch-Changes

I’ve been struggling to blog lately. There are many reasons for this, the main one being that I finally got a job. I’m a receptionist at a small production/distribution company and I’m excited about it and what it could become. I’m glad to be employed, but I know that a job taking up my time isn’t the reason I’ve been quiet around here lately. Even before I got the “You’re hired” phone call I had been having troubles putting my thoughts into posts.

It’s frustrating to me that I can’t seem to express myself in the same way that I used to. For the past month or so I’ve written multiple blog posts that have never seen the light of day. I kept trying to be timely and failing. I wrote posts about the How I Met Your Mother finale, the Divergent movie, and Captain America: The Winter Solider. I have so many thoughts on these things, but I can’t seem to articulate them well enough to feel confident in hitting publish.

I want to talk at length about how much I adore Shailene Woodley’s hippie-ness. I want to have deep discussions about the Marvel cinematic universe. What the last few films will mean for the next ones. How they are tying the movies into Agent’s of SHIELD. How SHIELD is finally starting to pull on my heartstrings. But I can’t seem to come up with the words.

Even beyond media I never got around to writing up a post about my writing goals for this quarter. I’m sure if/how they change in balance with working full time, but I can’t even seem to outline it for myself. Using my phone alarms to be on time, a new planner, how I’m dealing with buying a car; all things I’ve written on our thought about writing on, but haven’t gotten out the way I want to.

My frustrations are because I know that I’m not where I want to be. I know I could be doing better. But I’ve lost track of how to do it. So I want to say that I’m not putting any pressure on myself to write, but I’m starting to see that route is going to get me NOWHERE, so it’s time to rethink.

It’s time to plan and organize and figure out what’s reasonable within my new schedule and current commitments. I don’t know the answer yet, but this post it a declaration that I’m going to try. I love my job, but I know that I want to do more with myself than just get by, it’s not going to be easy, but I know I’ll be better for it.

Different Now

I find myself constantly frustrated with my inability to blog. I was going for a solid year with four posts a week and I was really happy with that. It was challenging, but also rewarding to be so consistent, and it’s aggravating that I can’t seem to get back into any sort of system.

When I started concentrating on blogging was when I was in Berlin. That was the most exhausting four weeks of my life, and yet I made the time to blog. How is it that now – with days I don’t even leave my apartment – I find myself unable to create content? While I was trying to fall asleep the answer came to me.

It’s simple really. I’m a different person now. And I process things differently now. For whatever reason, I didn’t even have a journal that summer, whereas now I’m filling reams of pages with thoughts, feelings, ideas, and priorities.

That summer I needed the space my blog provided to sort thought my emotions. I was surrounded by people constantly, and desperately needed the space of writing regardless of weather anyone was listening. When I returned home I continued blogging because I had found a stress release.

Last fall things changed. I was once again surrounded by people and this time I was constantly working off a to do list that stretched from Labor Day to Christmas, but blogging didn’t feel safe anymore. I was afraid of someone I worked with finding my blog and taking offense to something I revealed without realizing my mistake.

This isn’t an announcement that I am going to stop blogging or even that I want to. I just need to spend some time looking at what blogging is going to look like now. I’m in a different place now than I was when I started this blog. So subsequently, my blog content is going to be different too.

And that’s okay.

This Has Been: January 2014

This month has been my first of the “real world”? There’s a question mark there because I’m not even sure I know what that means. Am I a part of the real world now just because I’m done with school assignments? That doesn’t seem right? What world was I in before? Nevermind that though, we can leave the philosophic musings for another time.

Some highlights from January include:

Going Snowboarding for the first time in a few years. I never got a chance to go while I was at school in Chicago (the midwest is far too flat), but I finally got a chance to go to the mountains down here in SoCal. I’m excited to go again and for the many other adventures that are sure to come.

Started to write a DONE list in the evenings, reminding me of the things I did get done instead of beating myself up over procrastination.

Brought my scooter in for a tune up. Not sure that this is really a huge high point, but my scooter is cleaner and runs better now than it has for the last few months, so I’m pretty happy with that.

Got back to blogging. One of my new years resolutions is to get back into the habit of blogging (more on my new years goals in my one little word post, here).

Came up with a routine to start following and have been tweaking it and reorganizing it ever since.

Lot’s of reading! Ton’s of TV! I’m still reading some of the stuff books I got for Christmas and I’m searching for new books almost every day on my Kindle. Gotta keep my eye out for those deals.

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Overall it’s been a weird month. I struggled a lot this month with not having a schedule and the same structure that I’ve been so used to for the past 16+ years of my life, but I think I’ve figured out a way to rebuild that structure and am getting to a better place for it.

One Little Word: Planning Freedom

Like I mentioned in my last post about my word for the year, I’ve split the year into four so that I will be working on focused goals over the period of three months. I’ve already determined how I want to frame each season, even if I haven’t quite figured out all the details how these frames lead to goals.

Planning Freedom

January to March is about Planning Freedom. Not only will I be spending a lot of time in January planning my larger goals for the year and how to achieve them, but some of my goals have to do with planning as well. I’m breaking it into three main goals that I’d like to acomplish by the end of March.

Finding employment

Obviously it would be ideal if I am able to find an industry job within this time, and I am hopeful about doing so, but I’m also aware that it could take longer than this. Regardless, I would like to have some type of either full time or part time employment by March. If not an industry job, then certainly a part time job to give myself some structure while I spend more time searching.

Blog Re-Vap

This is something I’ve been meaning to do for a while, and since I don’t have a hard schedule right now, this is an ideal time to focus on it. I want to get a new layout, either by purchasing one and installing it myself, or through a designer. I especially want to get my own domain name and transfer everything to my own .com space.

Creating and Sticking to Good Habits

Another long-time goal of mine that I’ve already started to implement. I’d like to get some sort of rhythm going that can easily be continued once I’ve found something full time. Getting up on time, incorporating exercise and movement into my week, and cleaning my apartment more regularly.

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Hopefully, by working on these thing through the coming months I’ll be able to come back at the end of March and show off a handful of successes. I’m excited to be putting these things down on paper and solidly defining what I want to work on.

What are you working on this month?

This Has Been: December 2013/2013

This has been quite the month. Quite the year. My goals this month were pretty simple. I wanted to finish school on a good note and get back to blogging, both of which I would call semi-successful. I’ll admit that this semester was pretty bad for my academically, but I’m okay with that because I know that the energy that usually would have gone into school actually went into my two internships and something tells me that since I’ll still be graduating (cum laude!) the connections I made through my internship will be more useful in the long run.

After I turned in all my papers and submitted everything that needed submitting, I felt a little lost. I spent a lot of time in my apartment watching TV (a desperate attempt to catch up on everything I had fallen behind on over the semester). I was glad to go home to San Francisco for the week of Christmas. It was good to get away from Car-land and spend some time with MUNI. Christmas was just my immediate family, but it was nice for my sister and I to both be home at the same time. I got something I wanted, something I needed, something to wear, and somethings to read.

Another great part about San Francisco is that I was able to spend time with some old friends from high school. I got to reconnect with a bunch of people from my class that I probably haven’t talked to since graduation. We are all so different from what we were, the dynamics are familiar, but a stretched to include people we may not have been as close within the past, as well as a few significant others.

As wonderful as it was to spend time with friends and family, it has also been good for me to get back to Los Angeles. I got to spend some time reflecting on the year and thinking about all the plans I have for the next days, weeks, and months that will make up a brand new year. I will ring in the New Year tonight with my MOSAIC family, and I couldn’t be more excited.

As for the year? 2013 was a year full of growth and movement. I knew from the beginning that I would be ending this year in Los Angeles, but I had no idea how that was going to work. Getting to where I’m at has been a bumpy road, but I am very excited to be here. I learned a lot this year, probably most of it in the last few months of figuring out what I want from my life and how to live better, and I hope to be able to take those lessons and apply them to my life next year with new-found freedom.

This Has Been: November 2013

November has been a strange month. It was filled with internship days and get togethers, just as I expected, but also with less writing and goal getting than I had hoped. I know that my time has been full in these past few weeks, but as I sit down to write this I’m hard-pressed to figure out what it has been so full with. Though I suppose reading has been a big part of it. I think I’ve read more books in the past month than I did in all of 2012.

On the blog this month I discussed my thoughts on CSI, the books I’ve finished recently, and all the things I want to write about. While I’m glad I’ve been making the slow return to blogging, I am still very much lacking the consistency I had last year. I was on a roll there for a while, but it seems to be gone for now.

National Novel Writing Month. Well, to put it lightly I didn’t finish. I don’t even want to say by how much. Even though I didn’t complete a story, I did learn from the days that I did write. The actual act of writing is not as difficult as I always make it up to be. I just need to force myself to put in the time and then go from there. In fact, the more I wrote, the easier it was to write.

What frustrates me about NaNoWriMo, and writing in general, is that I can’t seem to motivate myself to write. I want to be blogging, NaNoing, and script-writing, but I can’t seem to get myself together to finish anything. Everything else seems to be more interesting than writing. Reading, Tumblr, YouTube, BuzzFeed, everything. Maybe I need to install one of those leachblock apps and block all the unproductive things until I provide proof that I am done writing? I feel like that program exists, but I don’t know what it is or where to find it.

Another big goal was to start a job search. While I had hoped to be a bit further along in the process than I am, I’m happy with the progress I’ve made.  Not really anything else to say about this one, but I’m glad to have gotten a start.

While to say that I have “caught up” on my school work might be a bit of a stretch in some places, I have make enough progress that I am no longer worried. It will be a big push to finish, but it always is. My semester ends December 14, which I’m continually surprised to find out is only two weeks away!

I think what I’m most pleasantly surprised by is the amount of socializing that I managed this month. I attended or hosted a party or get together every weekend. A Halloween Party, an Industry Party, a Housewarming Party, a Doctor Who themed Brunch for the 50th Anniversary special, and of course Thanksgiving.  All told, much more than usual, and definitely good for me.